WHAT IF ..

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’” ~Mary Anne Radmacher

I neatly penned down my New Year's Resolutions in my diary, which documented the highs and lows of the previous year of my life.

Resolutions, whether they’re made on the first of January or any day of the year, are refreshing. It’s a chance to start again—the closest you can get to a “redo” of the past.

In prior years, I made resolutions that were destined to fail: read one book per week, write a book, and learn to cook.

It wasn’t that the previous resolutions were bad. Rather, I had failed to implement any plan to help me succeed. I only had a lofty goal, not steps laid out to get me from where I was standing to where I wanted to be. 

But this year, I needed change. I needed a fresh start. I didn’t need the seemingly constant stress and the disappointment that plagued me last year to carry over into 2024.

So my resolution was a succinct two words: Be happy.

I also made a plan for how to implement my resolution. Finding a way to be happy felt strange. But this year had to be different, and I would plan if necessary.

The plan? Take steps. And keep taking steps—don’t freeze in place.

I took steps. I enrolled in a course in a subject I had long been interested in but too afraid to try. I decided that I would learn to cook. I went to a dessert shop—because not every source of happiness requires a big change; sometimes the little things add up.

And then only days into January, I panicked. Say this whole “Be happy” thing didn’t work out?

What if I made all these changes and I wasn’t happy?

What if the decisions I was making were actually wrong?

What if life was still really stressful and exhausting?

It took me a while to realize what all the what-ifs were really disguising. Superficially, the panic appeared to be the fear of not achieving the resolution.

In reality, though, the fear of not achieving the resolution was a cover-up for the fear of failing as a person. What if I took all the steps to create the life I wanted and it didn’t work out? Would I be left with an unfilled life on top of an unfilled resolution? 

Everyone talks about how to pursue what you truly desire. It takes hard work and perseverance to achieve your goals. Few people mention the courage required. It takes courage to forge your own path in a forest overgrown with what-ifs and brimming with the beast of society’s potential judgment.

Being honest with yourself about what you want, whether it’s happiness, a new job, or significant other, is scary. When carving your own path, you don’t know what’s in store for you ahead.

I came close to letting the fear of what-ifs consume me and abandoning my goals along with the little progress I had made in the first few weeks of January.

Fittingly, however, the one thing that overpowered all the what-ifs swirling in my thoughts was one single what-if: What if it all worked out?

What if you succeeded in creating the life you envisioned? It doesn’t need to be a perfect life; every life has a few rough spots or bruises.

And for me that hope, that possibility, that single gnawing question was enough to take the leap of faith and go forward with my goals.

That isn’t to say that I now believe unequivocally that my resolution will work out and every moment of my life will be Kodak-worthy. Rather, it’s to say that I now counter each doubt that creeps into my mind with a single rebuke: What if this all works out? 

Focusing on the positives of your goal or resolution is a much more powerful motivator than concentrating on the negatives.

Acknowledge the negatives as potential pitfalls to be aware of, but then counter them with positives. Truly immerse yourself in the positive potential of success.

If your thoughts of doubt are enough to stop you, then your positive thoughts are enough to help you succeed.

---- BiH@g ( All © Reserved )